Roommate Search

I spent a lot of time crafting a humorous, thoughtful Craigslist post when I was looking for a new roommate. Here's my ad:

$366, One Roommate needed for Victorian Castle, Feb. 1st

When my brother was helping me move in, he described the space as a Victorian castle. My boyfriend stood in the dining room and gawked at the chandelier. The double oven made my friends jealous. This is a truly wonderful place. We are on beautiful Humboldt Boulevard near the little park that is Palmer square and a seven-minute walk from the California Blue Line stop. We have tons of light, unpainted woodwork, a nutty Family-Ties-style bathroom, in-building laundry, a giant beautiful boulevard park out front, and dirt-cheap rent.

I am a School of the Art Institute of Chicago graduate (painting) and currently work at a Trader Joes, doing all the handmade signs. I keep early hours and am quiet and tidy. I paint in a studio elsewhere, so as not to bother anyone with the fumes. I read boingboing, Pitchfork, The New Yorker, and Harpers. Music/ musicians I care about: Smog, the Microphones, Cornelius, Elsa Lanchester Sings Bawdy Cockney Songs, Bill Fay, Dusty Springfield, most of the bands on Drag City, and Beach House. You can read my blog if you want to know more: www.fairwhitefrogman.blogspot.com

Amanda is a chemical engineer. She has an excellent collection of books including the wonderful translations by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokonsky. She likes to bowl and belongs to a choral singing group. We are both non-smoking very very clean, respectful girls. No pets.

Security deposit: $600, plus $35 background check.
Rent: $366 a month, plus 1/3 heat, electric, Internet, phone (all of which are cheap).

Your room is about 9ft by 11ft. It has the best light and a good closet.

Hearts,


Gwendolyn



For some reason it attracted a lot of foreign weirdos. This one came from a woman with a Christian sounding e-mail:




Hi,

How are you doing? Am writing you in regards to your advert and i'm interested in your room apartment, Am from Australia and i will be having some seminars coming up soon in US. Right now am working for a Non Government Organization on a program on children with orphans and heart related probs.My next program/seminars will be in US and I will need a room to stay for these seminars, so I want to secure a room before my arrival to the states. I can't wait to arrive to US cause I've heard a lot about US.Moreso I will be staying for the period of 12-13 months, Pls do get back to me with the room description, move in rent fees for the first month,Utilities and deposit if included. And if any picture of the room is available, kindly attach it with your reply please.Hope to read from you. Have a wonderful and productive day.

Thanks...



Here's one from a fellow who also left long, creepy phone messages:




ill take the room asap
but can i c the room first?
give me the full address and when can i pass by and c t

Have a nice day,
saleem



please,
if still up til end of feb and there is any interest i'd like to take a
look.
i'm a postdoctoral fellow moving to UIC by feb, looking for room to stay
(for few month) til i can find my own. i'm from rio, brazil, 32, non-smoker.
ciao, doug


Sorry, Doug. If you're a post-doc fellow and you have grammar errors I can't live with you.

Not to worry, though. I was feeling kind of discouraged until two Saturdays ago when I got a rush of really wonderful replies. I picked someone great, he moves in soon, and I couldn't be more pleased.

The Mural

Here are some photos of the murals I've been working on. I sing and dance and paint all day with some real nice fellas. It's the best job I've ever had.

Inland Empire

Brick and I went to go see the new David Lynch movie, Inland Empire, at its Midwestern premiere. It was not his strongest film. There was an awful lot of Laura Dern screaming and wandering down dark hallways and opening a lot of doors. If you made a drinking game out of it, somebody would end up going to the hospital. I felt like I was being rewarded for sitting through the really long dry parts when a funny bit of dialogue or some really interesting straight-forward narrative part would interrupt. There's this part where Laura Dern is dying (she's just been stabbed in the stomach with a screwdriver) and she collapses in front of these homeless people. The homeless folk have a wonderful conversation about a Japanese friend with a blond star wig. Laura Dern interjects with vomit/blood-- hilarious!

Tons of (typical) violence against women, but something really worked about it being in L.A. Others would not agree with me.

David Lynch was there. He just came out and read a poem about spiders. It was brief, but he looked spooky and great.

Alinea

Have you been through Alinea's 24-course meal yet? Here's a glimpse. The cost is somewhere in the ballpark of $250 per person.

It looks like it's worth it.

Neil Young in Glasgow in 1976

No More Babysitting

Since the summer, I have been babysitting for Toby, Frankie, and Theo. Toby is four, and Frankie and Theo are 16 month-old twins. Every Wednesday, I'd have them for 11 hours at a time. I loved them to bits, but I can't tell you how happy I am that I no longer have to work that job. There were great times, like when Frankie (the smaller twin) would feed me the left-overs from his lunch. He did it in a really thoughtful way. I had just fed him and he wanted to make sure I was fed too. The twins still can't walk or talk, but they always reached for me to pick them up and I liked that. Toby liked to draw and made me a real cute birthday card that had a basement and a washer/dryer drawn on the front. That little card was a moment of genius and I know from time to time I will miss their grubby little faces, but thank jesus freaking christ it's over. From now on it's quiet, calm, 9-to-5 sign lettering at Trader Joes.

Tamron Hall

Last 3 search terms people used to get to Fair White Frogman:

tamron hall breast pictures

cat "orange diarrhea"

picture of tamron hall's fake boobs

Tamron hall? Who is Tamron Hall and what is so great about her boobs? Turns out Tamron Hall is an anchor for Fox News Chicago and she recently got a "boost". In her own words: "It was not born of a breakup or feeling inadequate. I work hard every day; it was my 36th birthday. I don't want to give a description of my body, but any woman in her 30s knows what I'm talking about. I don't need to connect the dots."

Family Party

Saturday my extended family came over for a holiday party and pot-luck. In a true pot-luck no one is supposed to coordinate who brings what. So everyone brought pies:






On New Years Eve I got food poisoning. I was the only one barfing New Year's Day who wasn't hung over.